Are You A People Pleaser?
People pleasing is a trait where individuals prioritize others’ happiness over their own wellbeing. This often stems from sociotropy, an excessive investment in interpersonal relationships. Instead of being kind and selfless, people pleasing is an attempt to maintain peace, avoid conflict, and gain approval.
Signs of People Pleasing
– You find excuses to get out of commitments instead of saying no directly.
– You value others’ opinions out of fear of judgment.
– You over-apologize even when you’re not at fault.
– You lack free time because you spend it helping others.
– You stay silent when your opinion differs from others.
Root Cause of People Pleasing
People pleasing can be a coping mechanism for past maltreatment. It can also stem from fear of rejection, low self-worth, or a desire to fit in.
How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
1. Spend Time Alone
Take time to do things that make you happy. Focus on self-love and prioritize your peace of mind.
2. Set Boundaries with Time
Be clear with others about your time limits. Answer phone calls and let others know you have limited time.
3. Learn to Say No
Practice saying no without excuses. Ask yourself if you truly want to participate or if you’re doing it to make others happy.
4. Embrace the Change
Prepare for a change in your social circle. Surround yourself with people who support your growth and honor your boundaries.
5. Avoid Over-Apologizing
Refrain from apologizing when you’re not at fault. Show gratitude instead of remorse.
Reflection Questions:
1. Do you participate in things because you want to or to avoid upsetting others?
2. Do you overwork yourself and take on too much?
3. Do the people in your life support your growth or benefit from your lack of boundaries?
